Over coffee at the local Starbucks, he jumped right in: “Remember how we dated for, like, a day? “I remember.” She paused, some more laughs bubbling up. I barely even talked to my parents.” The waitress arrived with his seaweed salad. It would be like if someone showed up at the Paralympics right before my ski race. So, yeah, it’s totally understandable how she acted.” After the beauty queen, Sundquist recognized “Alexis Goodall” (pseudonym), his attractive neighbor, at a local bar in 2010. “I mainly remember when you asked me out, I think it was at youth group or something, and you were like, ‘Will you go out with me? I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, Josh is never going to talk to me again! ” “Of course.” “That was a big deal for me,” he said. You barely said a word to me.” “Josh, I was about to compete in Miss America,” she explained. He didn’t have the guts to ask her out that night, but conjured up the courage to leave her a note with his phone number on her apartment door the next day.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled you’re educating yourself; I just think it might be hard to date you right now. I buy vegetables and change my sheets on a reasonably regular basis.
Sometimes, I even want to talk about work, which means waxing poetic about Power Point shortcuts and Excel functions.
If you’re anything remotely like a typical college student, you sleep until noon, study until 2am, eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch at least once a day, and spend your weekends drunk, furiously writing a paper about Kant, or both.
I’m not sure we’re on the same wavelength just yet.
I will rave about my newly discovered professionalism, and you will laugh at how clearly my stories scream, “I am a new adult!