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My phone was buzzing immediately with more “matches” than I could keep up with.

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Netflix is like weed to me, and I have a diet that involves things called ‘cheat days’ and ‘shame spirals.’ I like the words ‘overmuch’ and ‘evermore.’ I’m a feminist and progressive and have a graduate education and really strong views about the wage gap.

I write for an edutainment program about history on You Tube, I have a podcast, and, also, I’m a porn star.”This little chunk of text actually served me well. What I learned is that a lot of people know someone who is in the adult industry and a lot of people don’t really mind potentially fucking a girl that fucks professionally.

Porn has taught me one thing absolutely: that people’s sexuality is fractured and everyone is ham-handed about dealing with it. I come to the job with a somewhat unusual background, which is fine for friendships, but when it comes to developing more intimate relationships, it can be more challenging. When a guy would ask me to tell them about myself, what I did, etc., I would reply with:“Writing is my life.

As clumsy as any negotiation about sexual politics has ever been, being a sex worker is like placing a loaded gun on the table. Tinder was dangling some pretty sweet fruit in front of me. I travel a lot, but not to anywhere interesting, usually San Francisco or Las Vegas, sometimes NYC.

Most correspondences devolved into these vaguely sexual exchanges. Having been an adult for a while, I’ve seen relationships that work and ones that don’t, but the rule is that every couple is unique and they all have to negotiate the very normal human feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and self-interest. Tinder was too sexually charged for me because I was a sex worker.