Because of your social isolation, there is nobody around you to say, "This isn't normal, you need help". You are a coper, and I suspect that this is the face you present to the world. You have made a habit of managing major problems without help, and you have learned a lot, which is great and will stand you in good stead.
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Those friends you don't see any more are still there, probably feeling that you don't need them. And as for your distant family, I think there are things you can do here as well.
Keep it light, an informal call to say, "How are you? I strongly suggest that you invest in a simple computer and get on email.
My circle of friends and acquaintances has become much smaller.
I have had to cope with various health problems alone.
I recognise everything you are telling me: the tears, the anxieties, the feeling of being singled out for punishment, the shame. The right medication would give you relief from the worst symptoms of depression.