Your question could have a hundred different answers - it's very general, which is why people have assumed you may not have considered the other issues around launching a dating site. What is best depends on a hundred different factors. If you go to hire someone or a company that doesn't ask you the questions we asked, you may be cheated. The only people that can really give you the answer are developers that you pay, and provide a comprehensive set of requirements to (probably tens or hundreds of pages, not a paragraph on a web forum). " and the first reply was "go for joomla or drupal." Drupal has come a long way since 2007. As you will see from my signature only you, tarzanhunter, can decide what is helpful to you.
It's roughly the equivalent of saying I want to build a house - what should I built it with? You can build a website with many different coding languages, what you use in the end will depend on the exact features, the platform you want to host it on, your budget, how scalable it needs to be etc. We want you to be prepared to manage this project and make the right decisions so that you will be successful. You could do this organically like Mark Zuckerberg did, but he was a genius and did not have to ask other people for guidance, and he already did it too ..... In 2007 Pixelrage asked on "best CMS for a dating site? I'll try another tack, which again may not be what you want to hear.
The people here are more than generous with their time and normally happy to help with questions and problems but they do expect that when we ask questions it is because we have tried and failed to find a solutions ourselves instead of simply asking for help first.
Thats' the way it should be and that's the way we learn.
The second question here is vastly more important than the first and is also incredibly more difficult.